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Biryani Rhapsody
(To be sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody - starts - 'IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?, IS IT JUST FANTASY?')

Is this a Bhuna?
Or is this a Jalfrezi?
Mixed up my order,
They all look the same to me

Open your gob,
Just swallow a fork and see.
I'm just a student,
Need something real cheap to eat

Because I'm stoney broke
Not a bean
Don't remember
The menu I've seen

Korma, Saag or Madras
Doesn't really matter to me
To me...

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to crap it all away.

Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, Curry on,
'cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.

Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

I see a little chicken tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh
pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicey

Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan
O Vindaloooooooo
(No no no no no non o no no No)

I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory
Stand well back
This loo's quarantined.

Here it comes,
There it goes, technicolor yawn
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
Up again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again
Here it comes again

This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!
So you think you can chunder and think it's alright?
So you think you can eat curry and drink all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just had to come out,
Just had to come right out in here....

Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan or bhaji
Nothing makes a difference to me
To me
Anyway my wind blows.
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