Dog Jokes
3.5A Dog Named Sex
3.52nd place at Crufts Dog Show
3.2Clever dog
3.2Talking dog for sale
3.2Charles & the Genie
3.1One Smart Puppy
3.1Blind Mans Dog
3.1Good Dog...
3.1No dogs allowed?
3.0War wound?
more...




E-mail this joke to your friends
None of the names or e-mail addresses you enter will be stored or used for any other purpose than sending this joke.
Your nameYour e-mail address
Your friends name(s)Your friends e-mail address(es)
Optional comment
You owe your mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning"


2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"


4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why. "


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me. "


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident. "


7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about. "


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper. "


9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."


11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate! "


13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. "


14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father! "


15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do. "


16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home"


17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING

"You are going to get it when you get home! "


18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."


19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"


20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."


21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."


22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father. "


23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn? "


24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand. "


25. And my favourite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

You can rate this joke at
http://www.funny-haha.co.uk/LinkIn.asp?J=906
Latest Jokes
3.3More Horsemeat Jokes... Now With Added Shergar
3.4Horsemeat Jokes
2.9The ultimate ethnic joke
3.8Monkey
1.7Knock Knock 8
1.1Interupting sheep
2.1Snake School
2.4Scared Numbers
2.3Olympic Tan
2.3Job Applications

Subscribe to our Friday Joke email and receive the funniest jokes every Friday, totally free and with no ads.
Click here for more details
, or just enter your email address and press subscribe

unsubscribe
"Retro Blog" - Lets-Go-Retro.com!
20010 - Bitscape ltdContact Us | Privacy Policy