Battle of The Sexes
4.2Long winded, but worth the read
4.0Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns
3.8Me Tarzan, You Jane...
3.63 wishes
3.6Be strong...
3.6Girls Night Out
3.5The Perfect Couple
3.5Sex in the dark

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Word Perfect Helpline
This is a apparently true story form the Word Perfect Helpline:-
Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is apparently suing the Word Perfect Organisation for :Termination without cause!!

(o=helpdesk operator; c=client)
o: Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?
c: Yes, well, Iím having trouble with Wordperfect
o: What sort of trouble?
c: Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words just went away.
o: Went away?
c: They disappeared.
o: Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?
c: Nothing
o: Nothing?
c: Its blank, and it wonít accept anything when I type.
o: Are you still in wordperfect or did you get out?
c: How do I tell
o: Can you see the C prompt on the screen?
c: What is a sea-prompt?
o: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
c: There isnít any cursor, I told you, it wonít accept anything I type.
o: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
c: What is a monitor?
o: The thing with the screen on that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when itís on?
c: I donít know
o: Well, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it, can you see that?
c: Yes I think so
o: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.
c: ..........Yes it is
o: When you were behind the monitor did you notice there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
c: No
o: Well, there are. I need you to look back there agaian and find the other cable
c: ..........Okay here it is
o: Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.
c: I cant reach
o: Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?
c: No
o: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
c: Oh its not because I dont have the rihgt angle - its because its dark
o: Dark?
c: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window
o: Well turn the office light on then
c: I canít
o: No? Why not?
c: Because there is a power outage
o: A power ... A power outage? Aha, Okay, weíve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
c: Well, yes. I keep them in the closet
o: Good. Go get them, unplug your machine and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from
c: Really, is it that bad
o: Yes, Im afraid it is
c: Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
o: Tell them you are too ****ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!!!!
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