Sydney radio - This is a corker
The best 'dear john' letter ever
Jimmy Carr Quotes...
Top 5 Snappy Answers
Long winded, but worth the read
If you ever get pulled over for speeding!
Council and housing association complaints
Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns
Job Interview 'Killer Question'
E-mail this joke to your friends
None of the names or e-mail addresses you enter will be stored or used for any other purpose than sending this joke.
Your e-mail address
Your friends name(s)
Your friends e-mail address(es)
Homer on Work
Homer: I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor.
Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.
Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different...
Marge: I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I think they're criminals.
Homer: A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal.
Homer: Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Homer: If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dog with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead. Do your worst.
Homer: Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer: If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
Homer: [reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key? I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB key]
Homer: Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
Bart: Dad, wake up. [Homer was sleeping at nuclear plant.]
Homer: I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm protected member of the team. You can't fire me, I quit! Please, I have a family.
Homer: You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ...
Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
You can rate this joke at
More Horsemeat Jokes... Now With Added Shergar
The ultimate ethnic joke
Knock Knock 8
Subscribe to our Friday Joke email and receive the funniest jokes every Friday, totally free and with no ads.
Click here for more details
, or just enter your email address and press subscribe
"Pull a Million with
, the worlds first free to play £1,000,000 jackpot fruit machine!"
© 20010 -