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Doris is Dead
An elderly gentleman shuffles into a newspaper office and asks if he can place a piece in the obituaries section.
“No problem sir,” says the girl behind the desk. “That’ll be a pound per word.” Nodding slowly, the old man writes “Doris Is Dead” on a piece of paper. “Is that all you want to put?” asks the girl.
“I only have three pounds, my dear,” says the pensioner, starting to leave. The girl, feeling sorry for the old man, says she will go up and speak to the editor. Moments later, she returns from the office, grinning broadly. “Good news,” she says. “The editor says you can have another three pounds-worth of words.”
Smiling gratefully, the old man takes another piece of paper and thinks for a moment. Shakily, he writes: “Doris Is Dead. Metro For Sale.”

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