All Categories
4.4Sydney radio - This is a corker
4.3The best 'dear john' letter ever
4.3Jimmy Carr Quotes...
4.3Top 5 Snappy Answers
4.2Long winded, but worth the read
4.1If you ever get pulled over for speeding!
4.1Council and housing association complaints
4.0Job Application
4.0Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns
3.9Job Interview 'Killer Question'
more...




A Few Rules To Live By ....
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just bugger off and leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone 20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

current rating: 3.09 (455 votes)
rate this joke:
12345
terribleexcellent
Category List : Lists
Random Joke

Latest Jokes
3.3More Horsemeat Jokes... Now With Added Shergar
3.4Horsemeat Jokes
2.9The ultimate ethnic joke
3.8Monkey
1.7Knock Knock 8
1.1Interupting sheep
2.1Snake School
2.4Scared Numbers
2.3Olympic Tan
2.3Job Applications

Subscribe to our Friday Joke email and receive the funniest jokes every Friday, totally free and with no ads.
Click here for more details
, or just enter your email address and press subscribe

unsubscribe
Premier League Predictions Game
20010 - Bitscape ltdContact Us | Privacy Policy