True Stories
4.4Sydney radio - This is a corker
4.1Council and housing association complaints
3.7This is a compilation of actual student GCSE (15/16 year old
3.7How to resign in style
3.7A bricklayer's accident report
3.6Word Perfect Helpline
3.6Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?
3.6US naval ship and the Canadian authorities
3.6Received from an English professor
3.5In-flight hunour

Famous Insults
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge talking about Mozart

Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?
Freddie Mercury on Billy Idol

I knew right away that Rock Hudson was gay when he did not fall in love with me
Gina Lollogrigida on Rock Hudson

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
Groucho Marx

"Actually, I never liked Dylan's kind of music before; I always thought he sounded just like Yogi Bear."
Mick Ronson

Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
Now she's at rest and so am I
John Dryden on his wife

"If pople don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting."
Herman J. Mankiewicz

"He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats."
Roger Gellert on John Cleese

"A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs."
Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante

"The biggest no-talent I ever worked with."
Paul Cohen on Buddy Holly

"The stupid person's idea of a clever person."
Elizabeth Bowen on Aldous Huxley

"It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before."
Charivari on Claude Monet

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