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A confession...
An 80-year-old man hobbles into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. Last night I had an affair with two 18-year-old girls. I made love with both of them............ Twice."
The priest said, "Well my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father, I'm Jewish."
"Jewish! Then, why are you telling me?" asks the priest.
"Telling you?...I'm telling everybody", says the man.

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