|The following are all taken from packaging: we live in a frightening world|
On a Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
And my absolute favourite
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."