All Categories
4.4Sydney radio - This is a corker
4.3The best 'dear john' letter ever
4.3Jimmy Carr Quotes...
4.3Top 5 Snappy Answers
4.2Long winded, but worth the read
4.1If you ever get pulled over for speeding!
4.1Council and housing association complaints
4.0Job Application
4.0Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns
3.9Job Interview 'Killer Question'
more...




Death on the buses
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The execution er rigs up all the worlds electricity to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch." The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked.

"Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor."


current rating: 2.71 (445 votes)
rate this joke:
12345
terribleexcellent
Category List : Working Life
Random Joke

Latest Jokes
3.3More Horsemeat Jokes... Now With Added Shergar
3.3Horsemeat Jokes
2.9The ultimate ethnic joke
3.9Monkey
1.7Knock Knock 8
1.1Interupting sheep
2.1Snake School
2.4Scared Numbers
2.3Olympic Tan
2.4Job Applications

Subscribe to our Friday Joke email and receive the funniest jokes every Friday, totally free and with no ads.
Click here for more details
, or just enter your email address and press subscribe

unsubscribe
Find more jokes and humour at JokeMachine.co.uk!
20010 - Bitscape ltdContact Us | Privacy Policy