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You are no longer a student when....
1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You donít volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesnít write threatening letters any more. - I donít know about this one!
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You donít go to Tescoís with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as Ďdressed upí.
19. Youíre the one calling the police because those damn kids next door wonít turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if itís raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You donít know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You donít get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You donít put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later. - maybe not!
28. You donít spend half your day strategically planning pub-crawls.
29. You "hate scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You canít persuade your flatmates to ĎDrink till dawní.
33. You donít spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
38. A 2.99 bottle of wine is no longer Ďpretty good stuffí.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You donít have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You donít go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
44. You have hoovered.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. íI just canít drink the way I used toí replaces ĎIím never going to drink that much againí.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. Err.
48. You donít experiment with banned substances.
49. You donít get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
50. You donít find a "dump" left in the toilet hysterically funny anymore.

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