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The things people say on live television...
Michael Buerk :
watching Philippa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's come in his shorts."

Ken Brown :
commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Ulrika Jonsson :
was a humble GMTV weathergirl talking about snowfall when she revealed "I had a good eight inches last night."

Lorraine Kelly on GMTV:
"This year's hairstyle is called a shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model one."

Mike Hallett :
discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Richard Whiteley :
asking Carol Vorderman to display a word on Countdown: "Ah, 'erection', let's see it up please Carol."

David Dickinson :
talking about an antique door-knocker on Bargain Hunt, said to expert Nigel Smith "You're a bit of a knockers man."
"Yes," he replied. "I've come across quite a few in my time."

Chris Tarrant :
discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Ross King :
discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Beatrice Hillyer :
discussing the availability of fresh water in Baghdad when she informed TVam viewers "Just after the liberation, I was getting it twice a day in my hotel room."

James Allen :
interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder :
covering the US Masters Golf "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

Steve Cram :
covering the men's 200 metres at the World Athletics Championships "Pumping away, Marlon Devonish has got the Olympic champion inside him."

Chain Letters host Allan Stewart :
discussing a 6ft 5in contestant called Richard when he told two women competitors "That's enough Dick for both of you."

Expert David Batty :
examining a bowl with a pineapple-shaped lid on Antiques Roadshow when he exclaimed "This is the most magical, wonderful knob I have ever seen."

Carenza Lewis :
about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."


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