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Porking Pork
A farmer wants to get his two female pigs pregnant but he can't afford the stud service so he goes to the Vet. "Hey doc I've got these two pigs I want to breed but I can't afford to stud 'em, is there anything cheaper?"
"Well there's artificial insemination - Blah Blah Blah " He goes on
to describe some pretty expensive procedures all of which are out of the farmer's price range.
"No none of that stuff will do, Its too expensive, anything else?"
"Well, not many people know this but human DNA is close enough to pig DNA to produce offspring. Here's what you do - take your pigs out at night, load them in your pick-up, take them out to the fields and have sex with them. No one will know what you're up to and you'll get them pregnant."
"How will I know they're pregnant?"
"If they're pregnant, they'll be lying in the shade the next day."
So the farmer follows the advice and that night he struggles to put the pigs in the truck, drives out, porks them, and drives back later that night. The next day the pigs are just standing around. So the next night he does it all over again only he porks each one twice and drives back even more tired.
Next day - nothing, they're just walking around. So he goes out again, porks them three times each and comes back in more worn out than ever. This goes on for the rest of the week and by Saturday the farmer is too tired to get out of bed so he asks his wife to get up and look outside at the pigs.
"What are the pigs doing dear?"
"I don't know, one of them is jumping up and down in the back of the truck and the other is blowing the horn."

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