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Life's Little Wisdoms
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Every time I think about exercise, I lie down 'til the thought goes away.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards??

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

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