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Homer on Beer
Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Homer: Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.

Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Homer: All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Homer's brain: It's a deal!

Bart: Hey, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?
Homer: Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Homer: I take a whiskey drink, I take a chocolate drink, and when I have to pee I use the kitchen sink.

Homer: Your honor, I'd like to represent myself. Drunken hicks of the jury.

Homer: Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.

Homer: Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.

Homer: I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

current rating: 2.52 (438 votes)
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Category List : Bar Jokes : Drink
Category List : Famous People : Homer Simpson
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