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Homer one liners
Homer: Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one!

Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!

Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.

Homer: No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Homer: Don't worry, Marge. America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well, all of Europe, but you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

Homer: Woo-hoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma any more! [sets fire to it and starts singing] I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T...

Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14 percent of all people know that.

Homer: Aw, Dad. You've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man now, and old people are useless.

Homer: Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Homer: Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.


Homer: The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek.

Homer: Forty seconds? But I want it now!

Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.

Homer: I guess some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back.

Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, goodnight.

Homer: Pftt... Rules. I'm a rocker, I don't care for rules.

Homer: I hope I didn't brain my damage.

Homer: Well of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Homer: Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic.

Homer: You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

Homer: Well, at least I liked it. Didn't I?

Homer: I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.

Homer: Facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that's remotely true!

Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer: My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd elect me, I'd make them pay.

Homer: Good things does not end with "ium". They end with "mania" or "teria".

Homer: [talking about his fatness] Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this.

Homer: The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.

Homer: Stupid risks make life worth living.

current rating: 2.74 (478 votes)
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Category List : Famous People : Homer Simpson
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