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Highland Hospitality
A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander.

"My car has conked out," said the traveller, "Where can I spend the night?"

"Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality."

The traveller duly entered the humble but cosy residence. "Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality."

The traveller was soon tucking into an appetising meal, the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the guest.

"And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality."

No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveller set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had her on floor and was on the job.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a crash and gave verbal vent to his wrath.

"After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor."

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