|Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist Quotes|
|42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.|
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Borrow money from pessimists—they don't expect it back.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
Half the people you know are below average.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I'm totally insane. I'm so wired. I'm sweating internally.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.'
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?