|Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."|
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, and I don't own any of those things either," said Mrs. Johnson. "but my health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."