Sport
3.4Fart Football
3.3Horse racing addiction
3.2Match of the day
3.1Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop
3.1Shady Past
3.0Mexico Olympic team
3.0A delicacy
2.9London Olympics 2012
2.9Sporting Quotes 3
2.8Love Juice
more...




A Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, “I would like to have one too!” Then I said, “But she is a dog!” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. I said, “You don’t understand. … I have had Sex since I was nine years old.” He replied, “You must have been quite a strong boy.” When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, “But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.” He said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, “You don’t understand. … Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!”

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. “You don’t understand,” I said, “I hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.” The Judge said, “Me too!”

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning. I said, “I’m looking for Sex.” — My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, “What seems to be the trouble?” I replied, “Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn’t live any longer so lonely.” and the doctor said, “Look mister, you should understand that sex isn’t a man’s best friend:



So get yourself a dog.”


current rating: 3.55 (927 votes)
rate this joke:
12345
terribleexcellent
Category List : Animal Jokes : Dog Jokes
Random Joke

Latest Jokes
3.3More Horsemeat Jokes... Now With Added Shergar
3.3Horsemeat Jokes
2.8The ultimate ethnic joke
3.9Monkey
1.8Knock Knock 8
1.1Interupting sheep
2.1Snake School
2.5Scared Numbers
2.2Olympic Tan
2.4Job Applications

Subscribe to our Friday Joke email and receive the funniest jokes every Friday, totally free and with no ads.
Click here for more details
, or just enter your email address and press subscribe

unsubscribe
TheDailyDraw.com - Two daily chances to up to £1 million by matching 6 numbers on their free-to-play lottery site.
© 20010 - Bitscape ltdContact Us | Privacy Policy