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How many senior Presidential Aides...

Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.

A2: One: to award a billion dollar sole-source contract with Halliburton to replace it.

A3: thirty-eight: One to say that no one could have foreseen the bulb's burning out, one to spin stories for newspapers that the President's bulb-changing program is working well, and thirty-five to go out on talk shows to accuse the Democrats of being weak on light, and one to deny rumors that it's still dark in there.

A4: sixty: thirty to bribe staffers to write letters telling everyone how wonderful it is to sit in the dark, and thirty more to bribe newspaper editors to publish those letters.

A5: The Administration will defend its policy of warrant-less surveillance of all Americans suspected of supporting foreign terrorist bulbs entering this country.


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